In my observation on how we live our lives, I have noticed eight different essences, from which I have created this system to explain how we identify with and interact with ourselves and the world around us. To describe our Physical Personality, this system combines together various elements from our fashion sense to many of the topics we enjoy conversing on, and even to figuring out what priority while exercising may bring us the greatest consistency towards overall health.

 

The 3 Styles

The key to understanding this system begins with the three different styles. Think of the three styles in concentric circles. 

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The circle in the center is what you hold the closest to yourself. It is a part of you that can be held quite private, it can be the things we use to self-soothe and to bask in our alone time. I call it your ‘Relaxation Style’ because it is what we do to relax and things in our relaxation style will often feel as natural and easy as breathing. 

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The next circle out is your second style, which I call your ‘Connection Style’. This circle can be considered an energy point because of how it plays between your ‘Relaxation Style’ and your ‘Humor Style’. It is this stream of energy and passionate excitement that builds the space for meaningful conversation and deep connection with others, resulting that your ‘Connection Style’ will often be one of the first things others notice about you and will often encompass your favorite ways to portray yourself and socialize. 

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Finally, your third style is your ‘Humor Style’. As the style we hold the farthest away from our personal being, our ‘Humor Style’ will often contain the most taboo and surprising parts of ourselves. It is the stuff that usually makes us laugh, adds a richness to our lived experience, and enables us to amuse ourselves continually. Yet, because we hold it at a bit of a distance, it is something quite likely to surprise people as they get to know us. 

 

The 8 Essences

Once you understand the meanings of the three different styles and their order, we can start applying the 8 essences to understand what each look like in each location. 

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The essences are as follows: Gnome, Phoenix, Fairy, Ghoul, Giant, Unicorn, Nymph, and Centaur. I have chosen to look at these through the terms of mythical creatures, because of the unique elements and rich complexity each essence holds. 

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Gnome is an essence that focuses on the mixing of structured and relaxed. In feeling, it is like an uncut stone, hewn from the side of a mountain or the free-flowing structure of a feather. Because of the relaxed structure aspired by Gnome, this is an essence we often find in academia. It’s often competitive, values doing well by itself, wants to have fun, aims to present itself as stable and predictable, typically thrives in being part of a team, will usually take commitments seriously, and finds humor in the times when trying to do something cool goes completely awry. It both takes itself very seriously and doesn’t take itself seriously at all.

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Phoenix is an essence that focuses on the fire of passion and a thrill for the luxury and splendor life has to offer. In feeling, it is like a fire, highlighting the dark coals that feed the flame, the bulk of the fire that blazes hot, and the playfully dancing tips at the top of the flames. Because of the passion encompassing Phoenix, this is an essence that is often drawn to luxury and the sensuous pleasures of life. Among the things it values, Phoenix wants to find the beauty and quality in everything around it, from items to people to experiences and passion. It wants to play with expectations and thrives on the burning desire of love, intrigue, and dreams. It also can appreciate the value of a dirty mind – especially when in the humor style position.

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Fairy is an essence that focuses on the whimsy and sweetness of life. In feeling it is like the experience of having a picnic in the park, dancing under the light of stars, going to an orchard to pick apples, and visiting with friends over tea and cake. In practice, Fairy is an essence of optimism, little joys, cute darling things, and playful sweetness. It is an essence that at times seems too sweet for this world but is also mischievous and interested in maintaining the magic of childhood through every age. In a great number of circumstances, it will show itself to be caring, sweet, and – for some – almost too cute for comfort.

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Ghoul is an essence that focuses on the dark and unusual aspects of our existence. In feeling, it is like the full moon peeking through clouds on a dark night, wind howling through a deserted landscape, and moss overtaking the bark of a tree. Out of all the essences, Ghoul is often the readiest and most interested in engaging with – and even valuing – the dark parts of human existence. It wants to push itself to every high and every low and run headfirst into the wind of adventure. It wants things unfiltered, unusual, and real. Because Ghoul sees beauty in the darkness, it values when people engage with the darkness and holds little to no patience for hypocrisy. 

 

Giant is an essence that focuses on strength of will and being. In feeling, it is strong and unmovable as the stones of a mountain and the unrelenting power of glaciers and rivers. In its dealings, it is matter of fact, practical, and reasonable. The feeling of power and being in control is something Giant values greatly, for there is nothing so powerful as human will. Giant holds itself and everything around it to high standards, but it also finds great joy and amusement through facing the absurdities of life with a straight face and stoicism. There is a majesty to life being exactly what it is.

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Unicorn is an essence that focuses on elegant simplicity and cleanliness. In feeling, it is very like a clean and unfettered house, a classic white buttoned-down shirt, and a pleasantly organized cupboard with matching kitchenware. Unicorn is inherently searching for harmony, principles, and shared ideals in how it interacts with the world, wanting things to be less complicated and more straightforward. It can be noticed that Unicorn sees tremendous value in the simple things of life, but it’s also true that Unicorn finds enjoyment in subtext, juxtaposition, and normal situations taken to their more extreme ends. 

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Nymph is an essence that focuses on freedom and fluidity with a distinct relaxation on expectations. In feeling, it is an oversized sweater and sweatpants, a relaxed movie night at home, and dance movement unfettered with choreography or rules. Because of Nymph’s desire to experience true freedom, it’s playful, desires to push boundaries, shows interest in doing things our structured society may consider “stupid”, and lets their curiosity push them into an exploration of boundaries and what is possible. Nymph wants to express themselves their way. Nymph will also often enjoy things that can be seen as a bit dumb such as puns, pickup lines, and bodily humor. To an extent, nymph is the dumb and silly freedom of youth.

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Centaur is an essence that focuses on eccentricity, personal passion, and eclecticism. In feeling, it is working on passion projects at any and all hours of the day, covering your home with items that tell the eccentric story of you, and delving into the clever world of wordplay. Centaur wants to be surprised and to have their boundaries pushed. It is passionate with a purpose and will usually have a beautiful dream, irrespective of whether it is what others would expect or want for them. Centaur can often be more maximalist in everything from their ideas to their passions, brain teasers, and hobbies. For them, a truly rich life is a life filled full of experiences, exploration, and dreams. 

 

Finding and Expressing Your Combination

When looking at these essences and where they exist in your identity and experience, it is important to look both at individual aspects and what they are holistically. Once you have discovered where things are for you, you will be able to integrate your Physical Personality into a myriad of things including your wardrobe, the set-up of your home, how you incorporate exercise, and the social activities you prioritize participating in. Bringing everything together, Physical Personality is all about curating your life to help you feel your brightest and most fulfilling existence. Make your life and your aesthetic work for you, not the other way around.

 

Though not exhaustive, here is a set-up of what the essences may look like in different styles. 

Please note, in this system, you will have three different essences, one for each style.

 

Relaxation Style

Gnome: I find relaxation in the pursuit of my ambition. I am naturally competitive and always want to do my absolute best for myself and others, having some fun while doing it. While put together, I would rather things not be too stuffy. I enjoy competitive team sports.

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Phoenix: I find relaxation in the plush and sensual things in life. I want things to be inherently beautiful around me and find comfort in indulging my more sumptuous tastes and desires. Exercise should be beautiful, and the quality of my items matters.

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Fairy: I find relaxation in the sweetness of life. I enjoy activities that fill me with a sense of whimsy and lean sweet and/or cute (ex. The vibes of apple picking, picnics, puppies, etc.). I enjoy participating in group activities and exercise classes.

 

Ghoul: I find relaxation in the depth and even sometimes the darkness of human experience. I don’t want to abandon the darkness inside of me; I want to embrace it. I want to push myself to new highs and lows through my spirit of adventure.

 

Giant: I find relaxation in the controlled and orderly. I want to feel powerful in my space and hold both myself and things around me to high standards. I want things taken care of well so as not to fall into disarray. I highly value my own self-control.

 

Unicorn: I find relaxation in the simple and clean. I would rather myself and my things veer away from stuffiness and towards my personal version of minimalism. I need principles in my life and those principles assist me in everything from exercise to small daily activities.

 

Nymph: I find relaxation in the lack of rigid expectation and responsibility. While I am responsible, lacking the pressure to perform means that I can express myself in my own way. For me, the best exercise is impulsive and without rigid structure.

 

Centaur: I find relaxation in the quirky and fun as I engage with my personal passions. I’m not afraid of more maximalist spaces and want to run (not walk) to things that excite me. Exercise is best when it aligns with my hobbies, and I can forget myself in it.

 

Connection Style

Gnome: I want to connect with others on stability and predictability. I hold my word like law and want to be a contributing member of every group I’m in. I want people to know that I am responsible and take my commitments seriously. I want to work to make the world a better and more fulfilling place.

 

Phoenix: I want to connect with others on the spark of passion and intrigue. This passion can veer sexual or to the inner fire driving me to find success and bask in all the luxury life has to offer. I want people to know that I am well off and value the fine things. I want to let my passions burn bright for all to see.

 

Fairy: I want to connect with others on the pleasant and somewhat optimistic. I enjoy sweet gestures of care and awareness. I want people to engage with my whimsy and playful behaviors. I don’t want to take life too seriously and instead try to find little ways to entertain myself every day.

 

Ghoul: I want to connect with others on the dark, unusual, and unfiltered realness of life. I value honesty and the type of connection that is based off of the great depth of experience inside everyone. I want to see others and be seen not only for our best qualities, but wholistically for all we are.

 

Giant: I want to connect with others on the real and practical. I value routine, reason, and the success of endeavors. Everything should have a purpose and a reason for it. Being well thought out and reasonable is something I value in myself and others. Life is a situation of pros and cons working towards the bast case scenario.

 

Unicorn: I want to connect with others on shared ideals and beliefs. Sometimes my interactions can appear and/or feel a bit awkward, but I enjoy the give and take of finding principles we share and outcomes we can pursue together. Life is an experience of discovering harmony and the outcome that brings the most good.

 

Nymph: I want to connect with others on the feeling of freedom from expectation and the pursuit of adventure. Sometimes the most fun available is letting ourselves be “stupid” with our friends and experimenting with no emotional connection to the outcome. I want us to relax and feel a little more carefree.

 

Centaur: I want to connect with others on our passions, hobbies, and ideas. I love asking interesting questions and playing with what is possible in the world. I need my passion projects and am not afraid of calculated risks on the path to my dream. I also love being the cheerleader for others who are chasing their dreams.

 

Humor Style

Gnome: I am amused when things go wrong, and people mess up. “America’s Funniest Home Videos” is the type of humor I never get tired of. Just as I laugh when others encounter disaster, I hope I’ll be able to laugh when I do as well.

 

Phoenix: I am amused by innuendos and clever references to passion and sex. Some may say I have a dirty mind, but I’m more amused by the masses of ways people have come to talk about taboo things without actually saying anything taboo.

 

Fairy: I am amused by cute things doing cute things and cute things I don’t expect. Some of the things I may like are videos of animals doing funny things, tiny things hidden in unexpected places, and kawaii coquettish things.

 

Ghoul: I am amused by intelligence and political incorrectness. The greatest jokes insult everybody at the same time and great humor realizes this. Being called out and calling others out is important. Just don’t be a hypocrite.

 

Giant: I am amused by reality. People may think I’m stoic and don’t have much of a sense of humor, however, I would rather comment of the absurdity of life with a straight face and continue on with life. Your girlfriend turned into the moon? That’s rough buddy.

 

Unicorn: I am amused when situations are taken to an unrealistic extreme to point out some sort of absurdity. I enjoy surrealistic humor and the subtext that makes juxtapositions and bizarre happenings funny.

 

Nymph: I am amused when people and things are dumb. Things like dumb pickup lines, puns, bodily humor, and animal pooping calendars are great. I don’t understand most of the problems people have with the minions from Despicable Me.

 

Centaur: I am amused by clever wordplay and hidden meanings. Riddles, brain teasers, codes, and double meanings are things I find fun. Clever, surprising, and eclectic things pique my interest and make me smile.

 

Conclusion

Hopefully you now have a greater idea of what your three styles are! At this point, I encourage you to consider your best day ever and how you can bring your style essences into your everyday life. I have found that using my style essences as a guide for how I curate myself and my life helps give me understanding and talking points with which to give myself space for greatest self-actualization and enjoyment of life. 

 

 

Congratulations! 

Your Physical Personality Awaits